chocolate is stupid

well, it is.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005


that's right, today is a very special day. i have officially been in my twenties for a third of a year.
here are some of the things i have learned:
-it doesn't matter about octopuses in the pantry because octopuses don't eat cake
-when boys say "straight" they actually mean "directly"
-boys are lovely
-contrary to common belief/wishful thinking, i cannot sing like a boy
-when someone tells you to duck, they usually mean it
-i do not like balls, especially ball dresses and ball shoes
-most of the time when people are laughing, it is AT me, not because of my sparkling wit
-perhaps more at my attempt at sparkling wit
-i do not have nodules
-artificial sweetener becomes poison when it is stored at a high temperature. i'm not sure how much you have to consume in order to store it, nor what the high tmperature is. please let me know.
-johnny depp is fabulous. so are sneakers.
-it is remarkably easy to bruise a flower petal. poor wee petals
-when you wear pants it is easier to do things, like walk places and climb over things and sit down. i like my pants.

Friday, September 23, 2005

mad with power

i hereby declare sunday 25 international chocolate is stupid day.

go on.
throw rocks at it.
feed it to the boys.
(stupid boys.)

Wednesday, September 21, 2005


i don't know what sort of pie i am today.
it just feels gross.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

the interweb machine

does anyone know how to make the internet do what you want it to do?
failing that, does anyone know much about shakespeare's two gentlemen of verona?

this week so far i have had two lectures with me the only student and two lecturers. it is certainly value for my student loan money, but i do not recommend it -- quite possibly the most intimidating thing i have done all year...

would anyone like to do my essay for me? it will be really fun - 5500 words on britten's 1942 hymn to st cecilia and purcell's 1692 hail, bright cecilia, and how they reflect english society's changing attitude to music.
such a fun essay that i will not give it up fact, if i let you do it for me you will totally owe me one... but i will let you do it for free because that's just the kind of person i am :)

Thursday, September 08, 2005


what is it about blogs that make them so addictive?
i used to look down on people who wrote blogs, now i feel compelled to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with the world on a day to day basis. and really, why wouldn't i? i mean, why wouldn't the world want to know what colour my toothbrush is or why i have an irrational fear of change? as a blogger i now understand that i have a duty to offer this information to my adoring fans. yes, after my one week on the other side of blogging i feel i can conclusively state that blogging is addictive.

(heh and what a fantastic word "blog". it makes me giggle.)

meanwhile i have re-discovered spider solitare. see usually i am a freecell/minesweeper girl but because i am doing a big essay at the moment it means i rely more heavily on distractions, and just having two games was just not doing it for me. i like spider solitare because you can undo and because it has a secret magical reveal-avaliable-move button.

how do you spell available?

i think the best part though is when you win and the computer gives you pretty fireworks and a big screaming YOU WON! then it asks you if you would like to play again and how can you say no when it is being so nice?!
and thus begins the downward spiral of procrastination..

Monday, September 05, 2005


from where doom impends (according to mike).

i have mixed feelings about karori.
it is far away grr.
which can also be good because one is less likely to run into people one knows.
there is very little tsunami risk.
we have a pool and a college of education.
and, um...yea, karori has nothing. it is out of the way of everything. and it has a stupid library with no books.

but what would i know? my vision is clouded by chocolate right now, though i have no intention of eating it, it flies around inside my head shooting my rational thoughts with lasers...the very ones i intend to annihilate it with...
yes, the very essence of chocolate is irony. or futility?
or dependancy?

Saturday, September 03, 2005

impending doom

i feel the doom impending. do you?
i do.
i think the question is though, where does it impend from?
because if i knew, i could go and shoot it with lasers and then it would not be able to impend in the first place.

Friday, September 02, 2005


it is stupid. whose idea was it anyway?! ooh it makes me so mad. with its stupid numen. i am fairly certain that everything that is wrong with my life stems from chocolate. or will stem from chocolate. i am motivated by chocolate, hindered by chocolate, and spend at least 98% of the time that i am awake working out how to best avoid chocolate. so why have it? why does it even exist? is it some loser's idea of a funny joke? tell me!! and if the person who invented chocolate is reading this, you'd better have a darn good explanation for what you have done. go and sit in the corner.