chocolate is stupid

well, it is.

Monday, June 25, 2007

understated melodrama (more refined than usual)

i think like i have gained insight recently into how harry potter must feel. for two reasons.

one is my teeth. i have had to put up with aching painful teeth (with sudden stabs of intense pain) for a week and it is not nice. but harry has had to put up with his scar hurting for years, especially since voldemort came back. and when voldemort is close or feeling emotional, it hurts even more. now, i know it was pretty difficult to think when my teeth were hurting so much. but just imagine how hard it must be for harry when he gets that head-splitting pain in his scar! and to top it off, he almost always gets this pain when dealing with very dangerous and difficult situations. all i have had to deal with is people asking me questions and trying to get to sleep.

the second reason is this conference i am going to on wednesday. i have been having recurring dreams about what it is going to be like since january, and most of them are scary; involving people chasing me or trying to make me eat gross things or giving me too much attention. anyway, harry had recurring dreams in The Order of the Phoenix; and those dreams ended up leading to the tragic events at the ministry of magic. perhaps i too have been feeling a subconscious sense of foreboding about this camp. what is going to happen?

disclaimer: i like harry potter but you do not have to. i just get excited about it sometimes. like how boys get excited about rugby.

what's on top

(because i haven't told you much about me in awhile.)

1. my teeth. they HURT. really really hurt. i am going to the dentist at 12, so hopefully they can fix at least something. i am going away for a week on wednesday, so i really want to get this sussed out now so that i am not in pain when i am away! prayers would be appreciated: for pain, for good dentists, and for financial stuff.

2. exam! i have one on wednesday morning. NOT fun when i am supposed to be studying and my teeth hurt! my exam is for music in the romantic era (which is roughly the 19th century). these are the main things that i plan to write about in my exam:
- Schubert, his song-cycle Wintereisse and probably analysing a couple of songs from it.
- Berlioz, his concerto/symphony Harold in Italy, his literary writings and influences, music in Berlioz's France, and the concerto / symphony after Beethoven.
- Schumann's Carnaval.
- Brahms' fourth symphony
- Rimsky-Korsakov's Sheherazade.
If you have done or are doing this course you may have noticed that i have failed to mention Wagner. that is because i don't like him and i intend to ignore him as much as possible. (never mind that he played an integral part in 19th century music.)

3. After my exam on wednesday i am heading up to el rancho for a tscf conference. it is about eternity. this is what tscf says about it:
God has placed eternity in the human heart. Eternity would remain the unfathomable mystery if God had not given the greatest of answers. Jesus speaks of eternity: he promises eternal life, offers an eternal perspective and speaks with everlasting authority.
Eternity transforms our experience in the now as we anticipate the glory of living in God's presence through endless ages. Living with hope changes the way we impact the world around us.
This year's national conference will focus on Eternity - exploring the hope and the power of eternity with Jesus in our lives here and now.

so that is what i'll be doing. i am a bit nervous about being around so many new people for a whole week. i'm feeling quite challenged to actually try talking to people, and to practice using my words.

i hope that my mouth works by then.

Monday, June 18, 2007

ode to zach braff

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

song for tessa

i want you between me and the feeling i get when i miss you
but everything here is telling me i should be fine
so why is it so above as below
and i'm missing you every time.

throw me a rope to hold me in place
show me a clock for counting my days down
cos everything's easier when you're beside me, come back and find me, cos i feel alone

but i've got to be unconditionally unafraid of my days without you.

(excerpts from 'Throw me a rope' by KT Tunstall)


Hello friends, my name is Natalie. I'm glad you came to play :)

I am looking for some things - can you help me find them?

1. a job.

2. my brain.

3. some coherency and/or articulateness.

4. some manners.

5. the ability to control myself, if only just a little.

Can you help? I would be awfully pleased if you could.

Love from, your friend, Natalie.


i didn't know what contrite means. maybe you don't either. this is what it means:

: adjective
1.caused by or showing sincere remorse.
2.filled with a sense of guilt and the desire for atonement; penitent: a contrite sinner.

con·trite·ly, adverb
con·trite·ness, noun

rueful, remorseful, repentant.

[Middle English contrit, from Latin contrītus, past participle of conterere, to crush : com-, com- + terere, to grind.]
c.1300 (contrition), from L. contritus, lit. "worn out, ground to pieces," pp. of L. conterere "to grind," from com- "together" + terere "to rub."

Arabic: نادِم
Czech: kajícný
Danish: brødebetynget; angerfuld
Dutch: berouwvol
Estonian: kahetsev
Finnish: katuva
French: contrit
German: zerknirscht
Greek: μετανιωμένος
Hungarian: bűnbánó
Icelandic: iðrandi
Indonesian: kasihan
Italian: contrito
Latvian: nožēlas pilns; sagrauzts
Lithuanian: apgailestaujantis, atgailaujantis
Norwegian: angrende, sønderknust
Polish: skruszony
Portuguese (Brazil): contrito
Portuguese (Portugal): contrito
Romanian: chinuit de remuşcări
Russian: кающийся
Slovak: kajúci
Slovenian: skesan
Spanish: contrito
Swedish: ångerfull, förkrossad
Turkish: pişman

Saturday, June 09, 2007

..i need to discover how i need to behave!!

no really. i think i have become reclusive without even trying.
it is scary.

which means that when i am unleashed upon the world, i don't get it.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

but i don't WANT to write an essay.