chocolate is stupid

well, it is.

Monday, October 22, 2007


i went to the folk festival with sarah and ruth and kate and chris and sally and ian. it was fun

this is what i learned:
- there are actually three bus routes that go from lower hutt to wainuiomata on a saturday afternoon. just because it says it is going to wainuiomata, doesn't mean it will take you directly to wainuiomata..
- wainuiomata is bigger than it looks.
- the hughes family really does tent in style. i was impressed and intrigu├ęd.
- folk people don't eat food; they eat "kip".
- i want really long red curly hair.
- don't ever buy a pencil case that has a hilarious joke on it but then turns out that the joke can also be interpreted as a highly offensive statement against a minority group.
- i am much more of a grandma than i thought when it comes to late nights...even huggies outlasted me!
- cars are good for sleeping in and nice and quiet.
- i am pretty much the best kazoo player ever in the world.
- without love, life is like the seasons without summer
without love, life is rock'n' roll without a drummer
- you can't stop the beat! (
cause the world keeps spinning round and round, and my heart's keeping time to the speed of sound, I was lost 'til I heard the drums, then I found my waaaay. you cant stop the beat!)

you cant stop the motion of the ocean, or the rain from above. you can try to stop the paradise were dreaming of, but you cannot stop the rhythm of two hearts in love to stay, you cant stop the beat!)

Thursday, October 11, 2007

fun ways to annoy people

try one today!

- sing along at the opera.

- go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

- reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

- declare your house/flat/room an independent nation, and sue your neighbours upstairs for "violating your airspace."

- for get the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

- invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

- finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

- do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

- signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

- change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

- repeat everything someone says, as a question.

- repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

- stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

- ask people what gender they are.

- lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day..

- sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

two wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil:
It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, self-pity, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is Good:
It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:
"Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

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