sometimes i feel sad.
when i feel sad i want to hide or disappear or be wrapped up.
it feels like it is never going to be better.
it feels like i can't do anything anymore.
it feels like i am no good to anyone.
it feels like all of the bits inside of me don't quite fit together properly.
it feels very very lonely.
sometimes i get sad lots and lots and just when i think i have finished feeling sad something else comes along and i feel sad all over again.
sometimes i get tired of feeling sad all the time.
sometimes when i feel like this i feel guilty because i am not allowed to be sad. i am especially not allowed to let people know that i am sad. because then what would they think of me?
sometimes when i am sad i want people to look after me.
sometimes when i am sad i don't want anyone to look after me. i want to throw myself away so that no one has to look at me again.
a lot of the time when i feel sad i cry. but sometimes i just feel an aching deep down inside me that i don't think will ever go away in this lifetime.
sometimes when i feel sad it starts to turn into feeling panicked because i don't know when it will stop if it will ever stop and i am confused and scared and sometimes out-of-control and i don't understand and i don't feel safe. it takes a long time to feel normal again.
i think that that is the worst kind of sad.
sometimes feeling sad comes out of nowhere.
sometimes you can see it coming from a long way off but you don't move out of its way.
sometimes it is both at the same time.
sometimes writing about it helps.
