on feeling sad
sometimes i feel sad.
when i feel sad i want to hide or disappear or be wrapped up.
it feels like it is never going to be better.
it feels like i can't do anything anymore.
it feels like i am no good to anyone.
it feels like all of the bits inside of me don't quite fit together properly.
it feels very very lonely.
sometimes i get sad lots and lots and just when i think i have finished feeling sad something else comes along and i feel sad all over again.
sometimes i get tired of feeling sad all the time.
sometimes when i feel like this i feel guilty because i am not allowed to be sad. i am especially not allowed to let people know that i am sad. because then what would they think of me?
sometimes when i am sad i want people to look after me.
sometimes when i am sad i don't want anyone to look after me. i want to throw myself away so that no one has to look at me again.
a lot of the time when i feel sad i cry. but sometimes i just feel an aching deep down inside me that i don't think will ever go away in this lifetime.
sometimes when i feel sad it starts to turn into feeling panicked because i don't know when it will stop if it will ever stop and i am confused and scared and sometimes out-of-control and i don't understand and i don't feel safe. it takes a long time to feel normal again.
i think that that is the worst kind of sad.
sometimes feeling sad comes out of nowhere.
sometimes you can see it coming from a long way off but you don't move out of its way.
sometimes it is both at the same time.
sometimes writing about it helps.
posted by Natalie @ 8:58 pm
11 Comments:
You have been in my thoughts all day today my friend. Prayed for you this morning. Would give you a big hug if I was there now. I liked hairspray. Love you lots. Ben
Natalie,
please take care, ok?
- Alexander
doesn't have much else to say.
Sometimes when I feel sad I go for long walks in the middle of the night. Not that I am recommending that; just saying.
I will pray for you.
Please talk if you want to.
If I may ask, who have you lost?
*hug*
Wow... look at all these nice boy comments.
I suppose I should add one too, even though I am not a boy.
Firstly, I don't hate Natalie. I think I am one of many, MANY people who don't hate Natalie.
Proof? Boy comments...speak for themselves; Cassie's latest blog post, need I say more?
In case you wanted personal proof, here is a list denoting some of the reasons why I don't hate Natalie:
1. She is cute. I was going to say cute as a button, but that's not really accurate. I'm thinking cute as a kitten.
2. She has skills. Skills of a navigator, skills of a teacher, skills of a good friend, skills of an artist, skills of a girl, skills of a youth leader, skills of a singer, skills of a keys player, skills of a freecell and spider solitaire player, skills of awesome...I could go on
3. She says funny things, and puts up with weirdness of all sorts from a variety of other people. In fact, she not only puts up with weirdness, but she also celebrates and appreciates it.
4. She is brave and persistent
5. She is loyal and dedicated
6. She dislikes chaos
7. She has no wish to date 3.5 boys in order to appear normal, which means she's not normal. Is she normal? NO!
My favourite number is seven, so I'll stop there. But feel free to add your own reasons.
.....
8. Something I like about Natalie is how much time and effort she puts into working with kids, first of all training to be a teacher is one, but also things like youth groups and cutting edge ect, she really does want to teach youth how to become awesome Christians. I know that Natalie has really taught me a lot and given me a wider opinion on things at Cutting edge.
tnx :>)
0 (there always has to be a zero, otherwise bad stuff happens) She is Natalie. 'nuff said.
I can sympathise (empathise?) with this as it describes me rather well while I was depressed.
Praying for you.
God bless
"I will sing of your mercy that leads me through valleys of sorrow to rivers of joy"
my advice is to avoid weighing. that will undoubtedly trigger the onset of double - nay, triple - depression. love you always and forever my small natile. cats are also good for sad times. as are mothers. and cake. xoxo
Reason 9. She has curls.
Reason 10. She appreciates Anne of Green Gables.
Reason 11. She understands that sometimes wearing a coat for six months is entirely appropriate.
Reason 12. She remembers all the important things that you might forget.
Reason 13. She is brutally honest.
Reason 14. She knows some excellent hiding places.
Reason 15. She knows how to retain the childhood innocence.
Reason 16. She understands that chocolate is stupd. But also the solution to everything.
Reason 17. She has very thorough stalking skills that one can only hope to emulate.
Reason 18. She knows everything and is always right. And she especially knows why diaries should not be shredded. Ever.
And I will stop there, because 18 is a nice number, and Natalie definitely understands why.
Awwwwww, natalie! I can't believe you! I need you, and I think you are awesome and everything other people have already said. A big hug.
bayla
x0x0
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