i am the BEST_JOKE_EVER!

sarah said so.

words of wisdom*

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight.

I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.

I'd like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then maybe he's flying along, low to the ground, and the fish pulls a worm out of the ground. Now that's a documentary!

Somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, "Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?" or "Do you have that $50 you borrowed?" Man, quit being so cheap!

Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.

Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

You know something that would really make me applaud? A guy gets stuck in quicksand, then sinks, then suddenly comes shooting out, riding on water skis! How do they do that?!

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.


* courtesy of person who emailed them to me at work.

from whence did the doom impend?

some say impendia.
i don't know.

IT IS IMPENDING.

i want to leave but i am afraid to.

is it just an imaginary solution?

unashamedly mundane

my blog is mundane. and i am proud of it.

i said in one of my first blog posts ever, "i used to look down on people who wrote blogs, now i feel compelled to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with the world on a day to day basis. and really, why wouldn't i? i mean, why wouldn't the world want to know what colour my toothbrush is or why i have an irrational fear of change? as a blogger i now understand that i have a duty to offer this information to my adoring fans."


- why do i feel compelled to post about the mundane details of my life?

because i want to. because i like to record things that have happened. because it is fun. and why shouldn't i? it is a good way to share stuff with my friends, especially ones who live far away, if they feel like reading it.


- who, apart from friends, would care?

i dunno. and i don't care. my blog is really just for me and my friends. and if other people stumble upon it, that is fun too, and i like it when new people decide to read my blog; but i am certainly not looking to build up a fanbase. ("you mean mel?")


- is it simply a creative outlet? a funnel for venting?

both, kind of, but not really. some people have blogs for those exact purposes, and i reckon that those are good reasons to have a blog. i like to think of my blog as a 'variety blog'. sometimes i rant, sometimes i rave. sometimes i talk about what's been happening in my life, sometimes i talk about stuff that i am trying to figure out. sometimes i post pictures that i like, sometimes i post links to cool stuff like strongbad. sometimes i talk about things that i like, and sometimes i just wonder out loud.
is that okay? i reckon so. you don't have to read it if you don't want.


- or do i post believing others will bask in the veritable wonder that is my life?

yup :D of course!

go on, bask away. you know you want to....look at all my majesty.