tell me a story.
i like stories.
go on, tell me one.
if it is good you can come to my birthday party.
maybe.
it has to be good though. no fighting, no explosions, no guns and no hayley westenra.
and a decent length to allow for some kind of development.
i don't really mind what you develop as long as it is developed.
bonne chance!
posted by Natalie @ 1:16 pm
14 Comments:
Once upon a time Hayley Westenra was taking a film to be developed. Then she got shot at by a ninja. There was a big fight, which finished with an explosion that killed everybody.
The film never got developed.
once upon the time there was a young boy. he was stoopid (all boys are). he decided that he didn't need to eat real food, he could get all he needed from chocolate.
he would eat chocolate for every meal. at breakfast he had chocolate flakes and chocolate milk. at lunch, he'd have a chocolate roll with chocolate spread. dinner was roast chocolate, followed by chocolate pudding. if ever he got hungry during the day, he'd have chocolate
eating chocolate made the boy very happy...at least for a little while. but he was always hungry, and no matter how much chocolate he ate, it never seemed to satisfy.
one day, he met a beautiful girl. he wanted very much to ask her out on a date, but he was too shy. he decided that, if he gave her some of his chocolate, she would be overwhelmed by his generosity and instantly fall for him (told you he was stoopid).
when the boy gave the girl his one-and-only packet of whittakers creamy milk chocolate, he felt sure of success. but the girl simply smiled sweetly, thanked him and said "i don't eat chocolate"
the boy was flabbergasted. not only had she ignored his gallant sacrifice, but she didn't eat the one food that he adored. he began to wonder if perhaps she wasn't the girl for him. but he simply couldn't stop thinking about her and how beautiful she was.
he decided to find out more about her. he would go anywhere and everywhere to be around her. one day, he plucked up the courage to speak to her again. "why don't you eat chocolate?" he asked. "because it's stupid" the girl replied. "oh" said the boy.
the boy instantly decided that the REAL way to her heart was to prove that he didn't like chocolate either. he stopped eating chocolate for every meal, in fact, he stopped eating chocolate altogether. he often thought about it, but whenever he did, he'd think about the girl and how beautiful she was, and he wouldn't want chocolate anymore.
when he hadn't eaten chocolate for 2 weeks, he rang the girl and asked her on a date. "will there be chocolate?" the girl asked. "no, definitely not" he replied. "i don't eat chocolate". "good" she said, "i simply couldn't like someone who ate chocolate"
the boy and the girl went on several dates, and were very happy. then one day, the boy's teeth all fell out. he was so embarrassed, he ran away and joined the circus. then the girl woke up and realised it was only a dream...
the moral(s) of the story:
-boys are stoopid (yet they can also be lovely...)
-chocolate is stupid and will make all your teeth fall out
-green is the best colour
-if your teeth fall out, you can always run away to the circus
-the nice guy always gets the girl, but whether he keeps her or runs away to the circus is anyone's guess
I disagree with all of that, except for point 3. Sometimes.
gets married huh? hmmmm
there were three bears who lived in a house in the woods. they'd eaten the previous owner. one day a little girl was skipping through the woods and came to the house. she could smell porridge, so she went inside. all the skipping had made her hungry.
she didn't realise that it was a trap that the bears had cleverly set.
as the little girl was sitting at the table and eating the porridge, the three bears slowly emerged from the living room and crept up behind the girl.
she heard a noise and turned around. when she saw three bears standing behind her loking very hungry, she didn't scream. she grinned and pulled a small round object from her pocket.
she threw it on the ground and there was a brilliant flash of light! smoke started filling the room and the bears were blinded. suddenly, there were crashing noises all around as SWAT agents swung in dramatically trough all the glass windows.
they captured the bears, who didn't have a chance to put up a fight, and hauled them out of the house into a waiting transport vehicle.
with the bears locked up in the back of the truck, the SWAT guys drove off. one of the bears produced a lockpick from behind one of his teeth and picked his locks. after freeing the other bears, they managed to overpower the driver of the vehicle and eat him. they used the radio to call for help. all the other nearby bears answered the call and they swarmed the other SWAT trucks, eating all the SWAT guys and the little girl.
now the bears not only have a house, but five SWAT trucks and enough weaponry to take over a small country.
no moral really...just don't mess with bears. they'll eat you and steal your stuff.
[Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction and any resemblance to people, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.]
The year was 1936, and the industrialised world had fallen prey to a deep, suicidal depression - a depression that was to last precisely eighteen days.
[Note from the author: This horrific event should not to be confused with the Great Depression of 1929, as 29 is an abominable number and deserves no place in this story. Onwards...]
A young girl called Gemima Scuttie was born on the final day of this depression and as such she was cursed with a life of unhappiness.
She was a pale child and kept to herself, only venturing into the sandpit to look forlornly at all the other children who played happily with their bucket and spade.
Throughout primary school she would take advantage of her wane face, embellishing stories of sickness and depression...sharing her story with anyone who would listen. But, as her playmates knew she was cursed, there was nothing they could do to help.
By college, Gemima knew her troubles were getting too much to cope with alone and she could see no light at the end of her tunnel. However, others knew her luck was about to change. On a whim she entered a competition at her local dairy to "win your weight in chocolate".
After waiting nervously for two weeks to hear the outcome of the competition, Gemima learnt that she had not won the top prize. This intially threw her into a deeper depression, and confirmed her worst fear that she was hopeless at everything that she did. However, Gemima cheered up when she discovered that she had won second prize - a trip to meet the president of America on her 18th birthday.
As her birthday neared, Gemima Scuttie became terribly excited about meeting Mr President Hello-Byebye and for the first time in her life Gemima felt a sensation of happiness.
In the car, on the way to the Whitehouse, she rehearsed what she would say to Mr Hello-Byebye. Gemima decided to share her tale of sadness and depression by telling the president all about her life-long curse. Gemima knew that if anyone could help her - the president could.
Her moment finally arrived and she was ushered into the chief room at the Whitehouse. The president sat in the corner, dressed entirely in a neutral pooh-brown colour (not unlike the colour of chocolate).
It was at this point that Gemima realised that Hello-Byebye must have magical powers; anyone who dressed in brown had to have some kind of special ability. It turns out that Mr Hello-Byebye had the power to make people happy, and upon hearing about Gemima's curse he waved a tan-beige wand and lifted her depression.
And Gemima Scuttie returned to her home and was once again a happy child, free from her terrible affliction.
As for the matter of who won their weight in chocolate, well, that is another story...
ah but was gemima pregnant?
and did it ever turn triple?
this story seems vaguley familiar to me... must be coincidental, though :)
sarah i love your story with vengeance, you win the prize and are most definitly coming to my birthday. laura/miss ryan (not sure which one) you are also definitely coming. as for you mister yomcat, i may need some more convincing. and david john you are not coming to this birthday party or any birthday party ever. except that you made me giggle so maybe i can be convinced.
keep writing stories!!
Sarah, your story seems to be based on a true story. elaborate?
Ok, here's my story (Part 1):
"Where, Where have you gone?" declared Cassandra with all her tired voice could bring "Why have you left your love so soon, and so alone?"
Cassandra spun around - lost, confused - as the deep darkness of the cave seemed to close in. The high moon, halfway across the sky and shining into the cave's mouth provided the only light. The train of her gown had long since been ruined, weakened by moisture of the sand, and exhausted by the exasperating search.
She had been brought to a secret spot, an intimate spot, a lonely spot. As she had entered half an evening ago with her fiance-to-be's hand in hers, she had thought that the cave looked like it was a result of an ancient war between gods - a hollow beaten by Thor's hammer, or a opening pierced by Neptune's trident. Benedict had brought her here once before, soon after they had first met, but that did not dampen its splendor. Benedict had chosen their first place of initimacy to ask the question Cassandra had been waiting seven months to hear.
Cassandra fell down into her tears, her elegant frame providing the grace to belie her newfound torment.
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!
True story? How many circus boys you know with no teeth? It's about as real as Judy...
I like your part one - it sounds like one of those stories you could get everyone to contribute to. Hmmm.
I like this story idea; I think I might steal it (if only to amuse myself)
laura OR joryan?! you mean you cannot tell us apart? actually, it is all part of my devious plan - i threw the historical information into the story to throw you off track. and besides, joryan is just a figment of your imagination. i am real.
p.s. i miss you, when can we do grainwaves again? perhaps this time there will be popcorn.
Well, if it's as real as Judy, it's pretty darn real!
I hope it's not joryan. I hate joryan. She's so annoying.
it's not joryan. (you heard the lady, joryan is but a figment of my imagination!) (....and is joryan in the room with us now?) i know who you are, miss missy toto. we must return to our romantic lookout sometime soon. peter i like your story, though it could be improved with some use of imagery - not very descriptive at the moment. you can come to my party but you have to bring me flowers. adam i am intrigued by your tale - have you heard of the two teams of bears theory?
i LOVE the two teams of bears theory. it explains everything. long live ice tv and long live those bears. the question remains, however, which team do you belong to?
we must go to the lookout. i am free next wednesday. our rendezvous must be before the 30th. big things are happening on the 30th, and the new year will NOT include grainwaves in any shape or form. i am gleefully anticipating the new year.
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