chocolate is stupid

As the Ruin Falls

2012-01-12T00:27:00.003+13:00

All this flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through;
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.

Peace, reassurance, pleasure, are the gods I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin;
I talk of love - a scholar's parrot may talk Greek -
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.

Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack.
I see the chasm. And everything you are was making
my heart into a bridge by which I might get back
from exile, and grow man. And now the bridge is breaking.

For this I bless you as the ruin falls. The pains
you give me are more precious than all other gains.

(C.S.Lewis)

2011-06-13T14:40:00.002+12:00

Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.
For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong.
They are free from the burdens common to man;
they are not plagued by human ills....

...Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.
All day long I have been plagued;
I have been punished every morning.

If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
I would have betrayed your children.

...

When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing that I desire
besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

2011-05-16T15:14:00.004+12:00

more time
special times with friends
a singalong
a bearded dragon
pistachios
Macs Green Apple drink
things that are pretty and/or creative
a massage
purple
animals
fun
socks (some of my coolest ones are starting to fall to bits :( )

letter to a 6 year old

2011-04-28T13:09:00.002+12:00

A six-year-old Scottish girl named Lulu wrote a letter to God: “To God, How did you get invented?” Lulu's father, who is not a believer, sent her letter to various church leaders: the Scottish Episcopal Church (no reply), the Presbyterians (no reply), and the Scottish Catholics (who sent a theologically complex reply). He also sent it to the Archbishop of Canterbury, who sent the following letter in reply:

Dear Lulu,

Your dad has sent on your letter and asked if I have any answers. It’s a difficult one! But I think God might reply a bit like this –

‘Dear Lulu – Nobody invented me – but lots of people discovered me and were quite surprised. They discovered me when they looked round at the world and thought it was really beautiful or really mysterious and wondered where it came from. They discovered me when they were very very quiet on their own and felt a sort of peace and love they hadn’t expected. Then they invented ideas about me – some of them sensible and some of them not very sensible. From time to time I sent them some hints – specially in the life of Jesus – to help them get closer to what I’m really like. But there was nothing and nobody around before me to invent me. Rather like somebody who writes a story in a book, I started making up the story of the world and eventually invented human beings like you who could ask me awkward questions!’

And then he’d send you lots of love and sign off. I know he doesn’t usually write letters, so I have to do the best I can on his behalf. Lots of love from me too.

+Archbishop Rowan

2010-05-24T22:04:00.001+12:00

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

(John 14:27)

here's what i want for christmas:

2009-11-29T22:17:00.003+13:00

a really WILD gift!

anything from there.

bears orangutans bonobos farmanimals elephants dogs cats cows horses!

not complaining

2009-10-06T23:24:00.003+13:00

thank you for cool and awesome youths who are always keen to give things a go

thank you for new friends

thank you for cute kids

thank you for people who let me hang out with them all the time

thank you that i have a car

thank you that i have enough stuff that i'm trying to give some of it away

thank you for good music

thank you for animals

thank you that you love me even though i am cranky and selfish

thank you that my biggest worry about food is that i eat too much of it

thank you for giving me the right words (sometimes)

thank you for old friends

it's easy to forget that your timing is not my timing. and that it's not all about me.

i'm doomed

2009-08-28T13:48:00.003+12:00

2009-08-09T21:43:00.000+12:00

i'm a bit slow...

2009-08-06T11:59:00.003+12:00

only just discovered Wordle

or here

not giving up

2009-07-26T01:46:00.004+12:00

I'M COMING HOME
I'M WAKING YOU UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
I'M NOT GIVING UP
I'M GOING TO STAY TILL WE MAKE IT WORK
WE'RE NOT GOING DOWN EVEN IF IT GETS WORSE
WE'LL WORK IT OUT
I NEED YOUR LIGHT
COUNT ME IN

Ethiopia!

2009-07-10T12:22:00.002+12:00

Me and Huggies made a big decision last night, to take our relationship one step further: we now have a child together.

:P

Jokes aside, we are now sponsoring a wee lass from Ethiopia named Mehdir. She is 7 years old and GORGEOUS. She lives with her mum and 3 sisters, and she likes to run and jump rope.

Here are some facts about Ethiopia:

- Ethiopia has yielded some of humanity's oldest traces, making the area a primary factor in the origin and developmental history of humanity, with recent studies claiming the vicinity of present-day Addis Ababa as the point from which human beings migrated around the world. - ooooh...

- It was brutally occupied by Benito Mussolini's Italy from 1936 to 1941, ending with its liberation by British Commonwealth and Ethiopian patriot forces.

- famous for its Olympic distance athletes, rock-hewn churches and as the origin of the coffee bean.

- Having converted during the fourth century AD, it was the second-earliest country to officially adopt Christianity, after Armenia. Ethiopia also has a considerable Muslim minority, dating from the earliest days of Islam. The country has been secular since 1974.

- In the Human Development Index its place is 169 of 177.

- In the beginning of 1980s, a series of famines hit Ethiopia that affected around 8 million people, leaving 1 million dead.

- In May 1998, a border dispute with Eritrea led to the Eritrean-Ethiopian War that lasted until June 2000.

- Ethiopia has eighty-four indigenous languages. English is the most widely spoken foreign language and is the medium of instruction in secondary schools.

- Ethiopia's population has grown from 33.5 million in 1983 to 75.1 million in 2006.

- According to the 2007 National Census, Christians make up 62.8% of the country's population (43.5% Ethiopian Orthodox, 19.3% other denominations), Muslims 33.9%, practitioners of traditional faiths 2.6%, and other religions 0.6%

- there are about 2.6 medical doctors per 100,000 people

Ethiopia is also exciting because, amongst other countries, it shares borders with Kenya (Sarah's place) and Sudan (my thing).

Hopefully we will find out more about Mehdir soon!

***

In other news, we went to see Shooting Stars last night and met some cool people at All Saints Ngaio. Fun times!

idiocy and creativity

2009-06-14T21:47:00.002+12:00

feeling particularly idiotic tonight.

which begs the question, "why is Natalie posting on her blog"?

i don't know. maybe because it is comforting to share your idiocy with the internet. maybe because a problem shared is a problem halved.

anyway, here is a really cool talk by Sir Ken Robinson. It is about education, but worth watching if you have kids, know kids, are a kid, or went to school. and it's pretty funny too ;)

waiting...

2009-06-08T23:36:00.002+12:00

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.

(Psalm 27:13-14)

finale

2009-06-01T11:54:00.000+12:00

just watched the final episode of Scrubs* and I am crying my eyes out. It was beautiful. And really nicely done. And pretty funny, in a meaningful way.

You know what sucks though? It was all about change.
Things change all over the place. Just when you are almost comfortable with a change, another one comes and smacks you in the face.

I hate change. Always have. (Well, at least since I was 12.)

It is so...change-y. There are never the right words to say. Never enough things that you can do. It just comes in like a bulldozer and leaves you picking up the pieces. Or desperately clutching at things that are gone. And living in the past. Remembering, wishing, regretting. Trying to bring the past back.

I live in the past a lot. It's bad. I know this.

There have been some big changes in my life recently. It has been really hard. And yes, I know "change is good because it brings new good things etc etc". But it hurts. It aches deep down in that space where you know you can never quite be whole, where you can't love enough or be close enough.

Change is usually okay when it is on my terms though. Because it was my idea. I am like a cat.

And I was going to finish this post on an up, but I can't think of one. Change sucks. It has to happen. I'm not too good at dealing with it and there's nothing I can do about it, except trust. I'm kinda hoping that God lays off on the change for a bit though, cos I'm already feeling pretty bulldozed.

*I won't spoil it for you but i will say this: he gets that hug! (and yes, I am aware that they are going to make more. Which, after seeing that last episode, seems very wrong.)

because I care

2009-05-12T23:04:00.004+12:00

It’s my birthday soon, and I always like it when people have a birthday and they tell me things they need so that I can get them something useful. So now I present you, dear readers, with a list that will hopefully answer that burning question you all have: “what should I get Natalie for her birthday?”

I know how hard it must be for you to not know, to be searching your mind and coming up with no answers, lying awake through sleepless nights agonizing over the perfect gift. It must be so hard for you.

So really, I do this because I care.

Some are things that I need, some are things that I ‘need’ and some are things that I just want.

I have included lots of options, for all tastes and styles :P

V (sugar free)
Classic Scrabble (with wooden bits. very important.)
A painting or drawing or collage or photo that I can put on my wall.
iPod classic
Defensive driving course
A nice boyfriend
Full House season 4
Write me a song!
A Wellington road book for my car
A Pacific-centered map of the world for my wall
A massage
Cool t-shirts – like H initiative (especially this one and this one.)
Stuff for flatting
Goats, donkeys and chickens.
Flannel pyjamas (must be cool)
Dark green ‘crochet cable knit’ beret from the Warehouse. (yes, that one is specific. It is a cool beret! It even has a matching scarf…)

CDs:
High School Musical soundtracks #1 and #3
Juno soundtrack
Sigur Ros

If you like the idea of vouchers, here are some places that I would like to use them:
Manna (books, cds, bibles)
Jacqui e (for buying nice clothes to wear to work)
iTunes (for buying music. It fuels the addiction.)
The Warehouse (for buying things for my flat.)

Or you could give money to other people who will use it better than me, like these guys:
SPCA
World Vision

worlds apart

2009-04-19T20:09:00.005+12:00

i am the only one to blame for this
somehow it all ends up the same
soaring on the wings of selfish pride, i flew too high
and like Icarus i collide

with a world i tried so hard to leave behind
to rid myself of all but love, to give and die

to turn away and not become
another nail to pierce the skin of one who loved
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears of a world embracing every heartache

can i be the one to sacrifice?
or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow..

take my world apart
i am on my knees
take my world apart
broken on my knees

all said and done i stand alone
amongst remains of a life i should not own
it takes all i am to believe
in the mercy that covers me

did you really have to die for me?
all i am for for all you are because what i need and what i believe are worlds apart

take my world apart
i am on my knees
take my world apart
broken on my knees

i look beyond the empty cross forgetting what my life has cost
i wipe away the crimson stains and all the nails that still remain
more and more i need you now, i owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride i gave up not so long ago
so steal my heart and take the pain, wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak and all the things i cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears, the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world apart, take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that i despise, speak the words i can't deny
watch the world i used to know fall to dust and blow away
i look beyond the empty cross, forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains and dull the nails that still remain
steal my heart and take the pain, take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things i cannot hide, take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart

Everything

2009-04-13T20:14:00.002+12:00

Some kids did this at my school last week. Makes me cry every time.

2009-04-03T09:13:00.002+13:00

here are the songs i am totally DIGGING at the moment

2009-04-02T09:06:00.008+13:00

Disclaimers: a) my opinions do not nessesarily represent those of the artists. b) 'key line' does not nessesarily mean the key line of the song, but the key line that speaks to me at the moment.

One more time (Ben Johnson-Frow)
(Or, more aptly, "One last time")
I don't know what it is. There is a sense of togetherness and epicness about it, but also a sense of sadness mixed with hope. It works for me.
Key line: "So here we go, one more time."

Love will light my way (Ben Johnson-Frow)
Beautiful in its simplicity. I love the bass line. And it's that beautiful mix of sadness/struggle mixed with hope that helps me to reach a compromise between what I want to listen to and what I should listen to.
Key line: "I'm miles from the boat but I'm not sinking"

My heavenly (Jars of Clay)
Well, obviously. How can anyone not love this song?
Key line: "Though love cries, love will rise"

Actually, the whole song is great.

Let the wind fall wild across my path
even though I barely move there's no turning back

..I know it never feels right
to let go of the safety I used to hold in so tight.
But there is a lion underneath these skies...

..hope fill me, keep me here.

Other songs I am digging:
The only thing (Phono)
Brand new day (Joshua Radin)
The Valley Song (Jars of Clay)
Surrender (Vineyard)
None but Jesus (Brooke Fraser)

check out my cool new tissues:

2009-03-24T11:07:00.000+13:00

Ideal for cars!

real

2009-03-22T11:09:00.003+13:00

Right now I am playing with my ukulele and trying to work out why you have to retune the strings every 2 minutes. It is frustrating. My cat is in here, on the edge of my bed. She is trying to decide about something. I turned on my electric blanket so she could be warm. I like that it is cold and wet outside, it makes me feel cosy. Bring on the winter clothes!

Before church, I need to do some lesson planning, work something out on the guitar, do some reading and write this blog post.

It's REAL.

tribute to john williams

2009-03-09T21:27:00.002+13:00

Performed by Corey Vidal. Written by Corey Vidal and Moosebutter.

crazy bathroom decisions

2009-02-16T22:11:00.002+13:00

Tim used this phrase at church yesterday, and I just couldn't let it go without a blog post.

First of all, SO true! Most, if not all of my crazy decisions are made in bathrooms. It is my thinking place. My quiet place. My happy place. Where I can wash my hands and hide in small cubicles.

Secondly, I just love the concept that decisions made in bathrooms are, by default, crazy. There is just something that happens to your head when you are in the bathroom...logic leaves and passionate insanity takes over. Because the world seems smaller and things make more sense. You get away from logic and into your head.

Finally, I like the idea that decisions have genres. You know: business decisions, spontaneous decisions, decisions that require lists, and crazy bathroom decisions.

What other genres of decisions are there?

What crazy bathroom decisions have you made lately?

work + huggies + natalie + magnetic poetry = silly poem

2009-02-08T21:57:00.003+13:00

a whisper monster discovers poetry
begins description in easy language
soon bettering his beauty
and through chaos has
serenity.

professional boundaries

2009-02-01T22:50:00.005+13:00

(poem)

I
i saw a guy in the supermarket.
he looked like someone
i used to know.
it might have been him.
but if it was, he looks different from how he used to be.
he looked at me
like maybe he knew me
but should not (would not)
acknowledge it.
Professional boundaries.

II
it was just a glance
but if it was him, it was more than a glance.
i felt him look
analysis.

i don't think he would have seen much.
- though all of a sudden i became very self conscious of my food.
(suck in your stomach.
try to look normal.)

(but not too normal.)
i don't want him to think i'm 'fine'
i want him to notice me.

III
by now i am in the bakery section.
better not look interested - he may come back
and then what would he think?
"oh look. she eats bread."
how mortifying.

pretty

2009-01-26T21:20:00.001+13:00

my car!

FUN

2009-01-05T23:14:00.005+13:00

i'm back!

i was in tauranga for a bit, it was beautiful.

sorry about the lack of posting recently. i have become little miss negativity over the past few months, and i figure if you've got nothing nice to say don't say anything...

ooh so i suppose you're all going to expect nice things now. FUN!

here's two:
1) when i was in tauranga i saw ladybugs and butterflies.
2) if i was a bug, i would be a ladybug.

i got two donkeys for christmas. it was pretty much the best part.

here are some more nice things:
3) today is Jamie's birthday. hurray!
4) williamsons are cool, especially dave.
5) i just found some bubble wrap under my desk that i had forgotten about. ooh fun!

wow, five nice things! that is impressive.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

anyway, i am currently going mad trying to clean out my room so that i have space to breathe. I wonder if you can help? I need to find homes for the following items:
- a fish tank
- a life-sized harry potter broomstick
- assorted CDs

All these things are free to a good home, just let me know what you want!

2008-12-25T11:18:00.001+13:00

"Natalie, you are a crazy woman. Midnight is for sleeping."
- Ivan Welsh, 2008.

bananas

2008-12-19T16:10:00.004+13:00

Okay, so you know how I usually do a deep, insightful and thought provoking Christmas post?

Not going to happen this year. Sorry.
I lost all my insight.

Instead, here is a nice song about bananas. It pretty much sums up Christmas I guess.

He finally did it!

2008-11-27T18:32:00.002+13:00

it's here!

2008-11-07T11:04:00.002+13:00

hehehe...thank you for all your comments on my lyrical masterpiece :)
i think that is the most comments this blog has had in a long time...

anyway, some of you know that i have been recording a short film with some of my music friends in my Performing Arts class at Teacher School. Aaaaand - here it is!!

The brief was to do a 2 minute scene from a soap opera set at a school. We did that....and more. Mainly because we had an inspiring and adventurous director, Mr Brent John Stewart.

Our soap opera is set at a happening New Zealand high school, Waikikamoocow High. Full of scandal and intrigue; you will laugh, you will cry, you will wish that you too went to Waikikamoocow High.

an ode to Pete

2008-11-04T17:56:00.003+13:00

The greatest day in history
Dunedin's beaten, Pete has been released
Sing it out,
Pete is still alive

The empty flat, the empty room
Pete is back and all the ladies swoon
Shout it out,
Pete is still alive

He's aliiive

Oh happy day, happy day
Pete returns today
Oh happy day, happy day
We'll never be the same

When he stands in this place
we see his hair, we even see his FACE
Sing it out,
Pete is still alive

Endless hotness, perfect teeth,
his good looks will never ever cease
Celebrate,
Pete is still alive

He's aliiive

Oh happy day, happy day
Pete returns today
Oh happy day, happy day
And he's definitely not gay...
We'll never be the same...

Oh what a glorious day, what a glorious way
that you are hot, Pete
Oh what a glorious day, what a glorious way
YEEEAAAA

Oh happy day, happy day
Pete returns today
Oh happy day, happy day
And he's definitely not gay...
We'll never be the same...

church bulletin doodling

2008-11-02T09:18:00.005+13:00

i stole this picture from Stuff Christians Like, a brilliant blog by Jon Acuff. Check it out!

Jesus wears jeans to heaven!

self destruct: it's just what I do.

2008-10-30T21:47:00.004+13:00

(not really good enough).

poem

2008-10-28T12:35:00.002+13:00

In Hawaii, birds are hot.
Lava runs with feathers
And eruptions rain down eggs.
Some hatch mid-air
Some land on hot-tin rooves.
In Hawaii, birds are born
From mountains called volcanoes.

By Thomas McGrath

(this poem came from the randomly generated question and answer, "Why do birds suddenly appear? Volcanology.")

FYI

2008-10-21T17:12:00.004+13:00

This Sunday 26th October will mark my 5 YEAR ANNIVERSARY of being at All Saints.

pretty crazy, huh?

remember little 18-year-old Natalie who snuck in the back with Jo Lowe? that was 5 years ago.

and of course, the next Sunday (2 November) marks the 5 year anniversary of the day I first met Miss Sarah Hughes. she drove me home.

i am not a writer

2008-10-14T23:06:00.000+13:00

i am not a writer
i cannot write short stories
i cannot write good poems
and i cannot…make things rhyme.

my thinking is not deep and meaningful
my thinking is not bright and witty
so how can i write good words
without sounding like an idi (ot) ?

don't get me wrong
i like words
i like how they look
and how they talk to each other
and i like playing with them

it is the creating of them that i can't stand

i mean, where do people get these ideas?
they must have better heads than me:
heads that have ideas
heads that can clean up their ideas for other people to understand
heads that can find the words to write down what they mean.

when me and my head go to write things, it erupts onto the paper in a big splatter of vomit -
WORDSANDLETTERSANDDOTSALLOVERTHEPLACE.

it is easier to read, and enjoy what other people have created.
(i am not a writer.)

How boys learn: An investigation

2008-08-12T13:04:00.002+12:00

As part of my teacher training, we had to undertake an investigation into the differences between how boys and girls learn. This video is a summary of the findings of my research.

on feeling sad

2008-08-04T20:58:00.009+12:00

sometimes i feel sad.

when i feel sad i want to hide or disappear or be wrapped up.

it feels like it is never going to be better.
it feels like i can't do anything anymore.
it feels like i am no good to anyone.

it feels like all of the bits inside of me don't quite fit together properly.

it feels very very lonely.

sometimes i get sad lots and lots and just when i think i have finished feeling sad something else comes along and i feel sad all over again.

sometimes i get tired of feeling sad all the time.

sometimes when i feel like this i feel guilty because i am not allowed to be sad. i am especially not allowed to let people know that i am sad. because then what would they think of me?

sometimes when i am sad i want people to look after me.
sometimes when i am sad i don't want anyone to look after me. i want to throw myself away so that no one has to look at me again.

a lot of the time when i feel sad i cry. but sometimes i just feel an aching deep down inside me that i don't think will ever go away in this lifetime.

sometimes when i feel sad it starts to turn into feeling panicked because i don't know when it will stop if it will ever stop and i am confused and scared and sometimes out-of-control and i don't understand and i don't feel safe. it takes a long time to feel normal again.
i think that that is the worst kind of sad.

sometimes feeling sad comes out of nowhere.
sometimes you can see it coming from a long way off but you don't move out of its way.
sometimes it is both at the same time.

sometimes writing about it helps.

writing essays for dummies

2008-07-23T13:48:00.002+12:00

here is my foolproof essay writing template:

"Sorry, I did not understand the question. But here are some of my thoughts:

[Insert anything you know about the paper here. Doesn't have to relate to the question. As long is it sounds fancy and like you know what you are talking about.]

Bless your socks. Love from [insert name here]"

(this post isn't actually about writing essays. it is an analogy. 10 points if you can work out what it is an analogy for.)

i can make pretty videos too! see!

2008-07-01T22:04:00.003+12:00

(well, i did not so much make the video as i did the soundtrack to the video. but it is a jolly good soundtrack. very...idiomatic.)

here is one that another group in my performing arts class made. they are much more witty than i am.

ps. i feel the need to point out that I CONQUERED YOUTUBE! woohoo! (finally)

why being really lonely is sometimes super-awesome

2008-06-16T19:16:00.002+12:00

let's explore the ways that being really lonely is sometimes super-awesome.

1. lots of time to think about yourself.

2. you can exhaustively play over your largest or tiniest foibles over and over again.

3. hobbies need love and attention too: all that time alone will help me to perfect my unparalleled knowledge of minesweeper, Harry Potter and Dido and Aeneas.

4. lots of time to work out what you should have said.

5. Mozart didn't get good at guitar by being social.

6. stalking. so wrong, and yet so good...

7. everyone loves a mopey-crankypants.

8. you pick up excellent skills of observation.

9. lonely people music is awesome.

10. it's way easier to get attached to fictional characters.

11. deep and meaningful conversations almost always work better when they are in your head.

things from Matthew

2008-05-28T17:15:00.003+12:00

- There's no 'I' in team, but there is one in 'Natalie'!

things from Simon

2008-05-27T17:19:00.001+12:00

And now for some facts on 23 thanks to Uncyclopedia.
* 23 is the largest number.
* Nobody really likes 23.
* If you have a dream about 23 and 5 at the same time, a parallel universe will be created which swallows you.
* All awesome people are born on the 23rd of June. (Though an exception may be generated in your case.)

Pointless unfact: On May 27, 1032 The first "Knocke, Knocke: whoeth art there?" joke was performed in public in England.

who said it?

2008-05-22T19:38:00.000+12:00

"Yes, I am the ninja worship leader of stealth."

song about the world's doom

2008-05-20T00:39:00.000+12:00

calculator + birthday = BIRTHULATOR

2008-05-19T13:51:00.002+12:00

today i am 22.98 (4 s.f.) years old.

steal my thunder!

2008-05-11T09:11:00.002+12:00

Apparently, this phrase originated back in the olden times, in Shakespeare's theatre. You see, when they wanted thunder as a sound effect in a play, one of the stage hand types would roll a canon ball (yes - a canon ball) across some metal stuff way up above the stage. Understandably, this was quite a sought after job, and it often happened that one stage hand had their canon ready to roll across the metal when another stage hand would steal the canon ball and take all of the noise-making glory for themselves. Hence the phrase 'stealing one's thunder', meaning stealing the limelight away from someone.

i.........am a donkey.

2008-04-15T20:24:00.006+12:00

because it has been a week since the last one...

2008-04-06T22:25:00.003+12:00

woohoo! i got me some comments! and here i was thinking that no one read me anymore....

and so, my loyal readers, let me tell you some things:

- only one week left at my school. I'm gonna miss it. Especially my wonderful associate teachers and many of my students (not that I have favourites or anything..). I will be very sorry to leave.
- i bought black socks with big yellow dots on them. i can wear them when i go to see the Phoenix.
- I have a new theory of the-way-natalie-learns. It is this: every time she learns a new thing, an old thing drops out of her brain and takes up residency in a banana.
- quote of the day: "teenagers are like puppies. you can kick them as much as you like and they still dote on you."
- i like winter. i get to hibernate. but i do not like it when it looks like it will be cold but then it goes hot.
"We put on our winter skin and walk.....we watch the snow fall."

interesting

2008-03-30T08:10:00.004+13:00

Phizzy says i am interesting.
I think that i am perhaps just hard to follow when i speak words. my head goes a million miles a minute.

Ben said i should write a post about people who are interesting. here are some interesting people (in no particular order):

1) Huggies (of course). I mean, look at her splendour, her infinite wisdom, her je ne sais quoi, the sahara.....it's all part of the mystery of Sarah....

2) RL. who knows who RL is? i don't. i sure am interested to find out though.

3) Ben, because he is not afraid to wear purple and the conversation follows him wherever he goes. oh, and he is not just interesting. he is "interesting".

4) Mike, because he has a cool purple cast.

5) Davew, because he writes cool songs and i am in some of them :)

6) Simon, mainly because of his super-cool elephant, Blumpy, but also because he has good things to say sometimes.

7) Michael Welsh is fascinating. He does not cease to surprise me. (usually in a good way).

8) Missy toto (remember her?) She is back in NZ! And she is definitely interesting. For one thing, she has her own label maker. It is wonderful.

9) Zac Efron. Not so much interesting as he is dreamy, but he interests me. Tell me more about Zac Efron!

If you were not on this list it is not because you are not interesting. It is because I didn't see you today. (Zac Efron counts cos he is in my heart....*sigh*)

(This list was brought to you by the words "I'm", "sorry", "about", "the", "lack", "of", and "posts". I hope you enjoyed it.)

in my head

2008-03-02T22:44:00.004+13:00

why should I feel discouraged? why should the shadows come,
why should my heart be lonely and long for heaven and home,
when Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is he:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me.

I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For his eye is on the sparrow,
And I know he watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” his tender word I hear,
And resting on his goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path he leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me.

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to him, from care he sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me.

chloe

2008-03-01T13:46:00.004+13:00

it's / its

2008-02-20T13:46:00.002+13:00

The rule: if the word does not stand for “it is” or “it has” then what you require is “its”.

“This is extremely easy to grasp. Getting your itses mixed up is the greatest solecism in the world of punctuation. No matter that you have a PhD and have read all of Henry James twice. If you still persist in writing, “Good food at it’s best”, you deserve to be struck by lightning, hacked up on the spot and buried in an unmarked grave.” – Lynne Truss, Eats, Shoots & Leaves, pp. 43 – 44.

this is hilAR- - i mean, funny

2008-02-11T20:23:00.000+13:00

sort of dunno nothin'

i found a photo of me walking through a door.

2008-01-30T21:17:00.000+13:00

because i haven't posted in awhile, here is what i have been up to:
- got a kitten. chloe. (she is cute. but she is not tessa.)
- went to summer wine. (it was aaaaawesome.)
- went to parachute. (it was dusty.)
- went to work. (last day tomorrow.)
- went to the beach. (quite a few times actually).

here is what i am going to do soon:
- start my DipTchg (Secondary)
- throw a hen's party
- be a bridesmaid for Melissa and Michael's wedding
- kick off a new year of youth group
- prepare to see Jars of Clay (FINALLY) on Easter Saturday.

cool. sounds exciting. that is what i wanted.

for more information on most of these events, see huggies' blog. she is far more on to it than i am.

end of year post

2007-12-31T11:52:00.001+13:00

because that is what all good bloggers do.

um.

ooh i know! let's play a game where you tell me what happened in my life this year and i will give you points for accuracy/ability to remember. the more scandalous the better!

ready......GO!

Santa, do you know I’m in Darfur?

2007-12-14T15:44:00.000+13:00

(a poem by Amin George Forji)

Where should I go from here?
Even in this desert wilderness,
In the middle of nowhere.
Where no green grass ever grows,
Or water flows, even during the best season.
I am still pursued
By determined evil.
Men bent on drinking the blood of my race,
To the very last.

Ever since these forces invaded our lives
I have been on the run, constantly.
Seeing each new day by a narrow escape
From the horror of a death
That has consumed millions
Of my Darfur brothers and sisters.

With every day that passes,
The clouds darken here.

Three rainy seasons back
We enjoyed our harvests
The cattle grazed in the fields
And the children danced the bambuuru dance.

Then an epidemic of the highest magnitude
Rained down on the land.
Not of nature, but of man.
These were not alien invaders,
But rather those who should protect us.

And their claws are so so sharp
That even wild vipers have fled from the land.

A heart attack killed Daddy
When he heard that Mommy and my sister
Were raped by two dozen Janjaweed.

Brother died trying to save them
And was butchered like bush meat
For daring to challenge their fun.

Grandma and Grandpa were burned alive.
Bombs fired Uncle’s hut
In the middle of the night.
Today I stand alone in the middle of nowhere.
No longer able to shed tears because
There is no more water in my dry eyes.
I am just waiting for my own turn
To drown under the sword of Janjaweed.’

I cannot even remember the seasons.

The hawks and eagles
That flew past me in the mountains yesterday
Were so surprised and full of pity
That they delayed their journey.
They put their heads together on my behalf,
Wanting to lend me their wings
So I could fly away with them
To a safer world,
But it was not possible.
However, they comforted me by telling me that it’s Christmas.
Without them I was never going to know.
That Christmas still exists.

Santa, I remember you are the Father of Christmas.
I remember Christmas is your season
And you are forever who you are.
And you are going to every child
To give them a deserving smile.
Ever since the epidemic rained down on us in Darfur
I have not heard anything from you.
Have you erased Darfur from your world map?
Do you know I am in Darfur?
Tell me at least that you got my question.

peace on earth...

2007-12-11T09:20:00.000+13:00

"peace on earth, goodwill to man"

"hail the newborn Prince of Peace"

"sleep in heavenly peace"

"and peace to men on earth"

"peace on earth, and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled."

We bandy that word 'peace' around a lot at Christmas time.

i've been wondering this year about where i can find peace in Christmas, or what i can do to make peace a part of christmas.

and then i read about Darfur.

"Dafur is the gravest humanitarian disaster of the new millennium - 2 million people displaced, up to 400,000 butchered, hundreds of villages burnt to the ground, rape used as a weapon of war and intimidation, families separated, children orphaned.
The words genocide or ethnic cleansing are not officially used for fear of offending the Sudanese government but whatever you decide to call it, the western tribes of Dafur province in Sudan are being systematically displaced and murdered by Arab and African militia gangs known as the Janjawid." more info

wow. and we are over here in our safe country worrying about getting stressed buying gifts.

*

God is teaching me about peace this Christmas.

peace that isn't 'being nice to people and not arguing': i'm thinking warrior peace, the peace that needs to be fought for. peace that i need to sacrifice for.

peace like what Harry and the Order of the Phoenix fought for.

peace like what Eowyn and the Fellowship of the Ring fought for.

the peace of God's kingdom that was initiated by Jesus ("Prince of Peace") and will one day prevail everywhere.

*

i want to help spread God's peace on earth.

"TEAR Fund NZ considers this crisis so unjust and evil that we are pledging to raise $300,000 for the victims of Darfur in this year's 2007 Christmas Focus Appeal.
Working with Tearfund UK we are providing emergency supplies, food, healthcare, sanitation and clean safe water as well as establishing safe places for children. These safe places allow the children to have some semblance of childhood including play areas and children's health clubs which attract up to 69,000 children weekly. The children's activity centres aim to provide 'emotional' protection and support by bringing back some normality into children's lives. They also provide opportunities for children to express some of the trauma they have experienced." more info

peace on earth...

"We didn't come here to this camp for fun. We came here because we saw blood, real blood running, just like water in our village. It was dreadful. The Janjawid gangs killed all our men and left us helpless. We have nothing left." - a displaced woman at a secure camp.

if you were at All Saints church on Sunday night, you might remember how Manton talked about giving. he challenged us to think about not just giving to our family and friends, but to those who we have never met - and need our help desperately.

so, i would like to repeat that challenge.
maybe you would like to give to TEAR Fund for the work they are doing in Darfur (follow links above).
maybe you have something else in mind.
whatever it is, let's use this Christmas to help bring a little bit of peace to this world with all its violence.

love came down at christmas

2007-11-30T12:16:00.000+13:00

Huggies asked us to say what Christmas means to us. This is my bit:

Christmas is a time to remember and celebrate the time when it all began - God, the big huge creator of the universe came to be with us in the form of a tiny little baby, born to a poor family in a nothing village. He came and experienced pain, sadness, joy and frustration just like we do. Through his teaching and miracles he showed us a bit about what the world is going to be like someday when he renews the whole of creation and gets rid of evil once and for all. And most importantly he came to die as a sacrifice for us, to fix up all the mess that we have gotten ourselves into (or, ‘sin’) so that we can live in relationship with him.* He came because he loves us that much.

So for me, I guess the reason that Christmas gets me so excited and giggly is because of love. What God began on Christmas, 2000ish years ago, is HUGE. He loves me, he loves all of us, SOOO much. He chose to die for me. And I guess a great way of celebrating/recognising that is to use it as a time to think about how we love other people: do we love them the way God loves them? (Or just when it is convenient? or easy? sometimes it is a lot easier to think about what is best for me.)

When I sing or hear Christmas songs, the bits that move me the most are always the bits about love, and sacrifice. Cos when I think of Christmas, I think about the events that Jesus' birth set in motion - when I think of Christmas, I think of the cross.

it's that special day again....

2007-11-27T08:19:00.000+13:00

22 and a half today!!

ooh yea.

check me out!

i don't have the company car; i ain't swinging at two below par......but i know how to drive cars! and i know that two below par is a golf thing.

22 and a half!
22 and a half!

that is the same as 22 and 6 twelfths. or 22 and two quarters. the possibilities are endless!

well, i guess now that i am so old i should say something responsible.

um.
- always brush your teeth or you will have to pay lots of money for fillings and root canals.
- ask questions.
- never run across the road. and if you have to, at least look both ways first.
- don't carry boxes that are too heavy and lose your grip on them just as you trip over the curb. it will end in tears. and broken boxes. so don't do it. (and if you do, make up a cool story. something to do with dragons usually works for me.)
- sometimes kazoos are not helpful. always check if it is helpful before doing it.

22 and a half!

it's okay, i don't expect gifts.
just your emails telling me how wonderful i am.
thank you.

ps. happy birthday Jakob!! welcome to two-year-old-hood :)

***

2007-11-22T21:31:00.001+13:00

Welcome to the world, Baby Girl!

2007-11-03T09:41:00.000+13:00

YAYAYAY! Ben and Teri had a beautiful baby girl this morning. And she is healthy and safe and has brown hair, like mum and dad. Congratulations!!
Congratulations Jakob, you have a new little sister! Now you get to be a big brother, and look after her real good. It's gonna be awesome!

Welcome to the world, baby girl! We are so glad that you are here :) You are loved by so many people. God has big plans for your life. I can't wait to get to know you as you grow into a beautiful young woman. Yay you! Yay God!

folk!

2007-10-22T17:48:00.000+13:00

i went to the folk festival with sarah and ruth and kate and chris and sally and ian. it was fun
and......folky.

this is what i learned:
- there are actually three bus routes that go from lower hutt to wainuiomata on a saturday afternoon. just because it says it is going to wainuiomata, doesn't mean it will take you directly to wainuiomata..
- wainuiomata is bigger than it looks.
- the hughes family really does tent in style. i was impressed and intriguéd.
- folk people don't eat food; they eat "kip".
- i want really long red curly hair.
- don't ever buy a pencil case that has a hilarious joke on it but then turns out that the joke can also be interpreted as a highly offensive statement against a minority group.
- i am much more of a grandma than i thought when it comes to late nights...even huggies outlasted me!
- cars are good for sleeping in and nice and quiet.
- i am pretty much the best kazoo player ever in the world.
- without love, life is like the seasons without summer
without love, life is rock'n' roll without a drummer
- you can't stop the beat! (cause the world keeps spinning round and round, and my heart's keeping time to the speed of sound, I was lost 'til I heard the drums, then I found my waaaay. you cant stop the beat!)

(you cant stop the motion of the ocean, or the rain from above. you can try to stop the paradise were dreaming of, but you cannot stop the rhythm of two hearts in love to stay, you cant stop the beat!)

fun ways to annoy people

2007-10-11T13:08:00.001+13:00

try one today!

- sing along at the opera.

- go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

- reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

- declare your house/flat/room an independent nation, and sue your neighbours upstairs for "violating your airspace."

- for get the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

- invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

- finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

- do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

- signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

- change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

- repeat everything someone says, as a question.

- repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

- stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

- ask people what gender they are.

- lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day..

- sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

two wolves

2007-10-02T22:48:00.000+13:00

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil:
It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, self-pity, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is Good:
It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:
"Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

author unknown

i am the BEST_JOKE_EVER!

2007-09-21T10:21:00.000+12:00

sarah said so.

words of wisdom*

2007-09-18T16:55:00.001+12:00

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight.

I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.

I'd like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then maybe he's flying along, low to the ground, and the fish pulls a worm out of the ground. Now that's a documentary!

Somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, "Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?" or "Do you have that $50 you borrowed?" Man, quit being so cheap!

Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.

Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

You know something that would really make me applaud? A guy gets stuck in quicksand, then sinks, then suddenly comes shooting out, riding on water skis! How do they do that?!

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.

* courtesy of person who emailed them to me at work.

from whence did the doom impend?

2007-09-08T15:19:00.000+12:00

some say impendia.
i don't know.

IT IS IMPENDING.

i want to leave but i am afraid to.

is it just an imaginary solution?

unashamedly mundane

2007-09-03T19:14:00.000+12:00

my blog is mundane. and i am proud of it.

i said in one of my first blog posts ever, "i used to look down on people who wrote blogs, now i feel compelled to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with the world on a day to day basis. and really, why wouldn't i? i mean, why wouldn't the world want to know what colour my toothbrush is or why i have an irrational fear of change? as a blogger i now understand that i have a duty to offer this information to my adoring fans."

- why do i feel compelled to post about the mundane details of my life?

because i want to. because i like to record things that have happened. because it is fun. and why shouldn't i? it is a good way to share stuff with my friends, especially ones who live far away, if they feel like reading it.

- who, apart from friends, would care?

i dunno. and i don't care. my blog is really just for me and my friends. and if other people stumble upon it, that is fun too, and i like it when new people decide to read my blog; but i am certainly not looking to build up a fanbase. ("you mean mel?")

- is it simply a creative outlet? a funnel for venting?

both, kind of, but not really. some people have blogs for those exact purposes, and i reckon that those are good reasons to have a blog. i like to think of my blog as a 'variety blog'. sometimes i rant, sometimes i rave. sometimes i talk about what's been happening in my life, sometimes i talk about stuff that i am trying to figure out. sometimes i post pictures that i like, sometimes i post links to cool stuff like strongbad. sometimes i talk about things that i like, and sometimes i just wonder out loud.
is that okay? i reckon so. you don't have to read it if you don't want.

- or do i post believing others will bask in the veritable wonder that is my life?

yup :D of course!

go on, bask away. you know you want to....look at all my majesty.

i made a fruit smoothie!!

2007-08-31T13:15:00.000+12:00

it is: awesome.

first i put in some frozen mixed berries that i found in the freezer.

then i put in a banana. (i don't usually like bananas but they are good for you and they are okay when they are in a smoothie.)

then i mixed them up, i worked out how to use the blender and everything!

then i put in some apple juice and two golden kiwifruit. finally, i squeezed in half a lemon.

the result?

perfection, in a cup. i even found a green straw to drink it with!
(everything tastes better with a straw.)

other good things about today:
- yay! the weather is beautiful today! and all the birds are out! i like birds.
- i was just in town and all the kids from the montessori schools were doing a walk for water in niger and they were so cute and i got to wave to them.
- i got to see huggies. she is totally cool. and she bought me chocolate!
- also my chickens are cute. i just let them out for the afternoon and now they are having lots of fun stomping around the garden and mucking about in the dirt.
- tonight i get to go to girl group and then maybe to the rongotai college production! w00t!!! God is good!!

song of the day:

broken, by jack johnson (verse 1)

with everything ahead of us we left everything behind,
(but nothing that we needed - at least, not at this time)
and now the feeling that i'm feeling - well,
it's feeling like my life is finally mine.
with nothing to go back to, we just continue to drive.
without you i was broken, but i'd rather be broke down with you by my side.

2007-08-06T09:50:00.000+12:00

i think i am allergic to calories.

every time i eat them, i swell up.

*

2007-07-28T16:04:00.000+12:00

the late night ramblings of someone who stuck with harry until the very end.

2007-07-23T01:55:00.000+12:00

i have finished the book. i feel peaceful. and hopeful. and stronger, somehow.

love. friendship. faith. trust. courage. loyalty. sacrifice. grace.

these themes provoked something deep inside me while i was reading the book. i think it is something deeper than simply feeling a connection with the characters. i sobbed my heart out as the characters i have grown close to acted out these themes, not because i "love" them but because part of me realises how deeply applicable parts of the story are to my own life. perhaps i was created to react deeply to these themes the way i did. i love to see them acted out (yes, even in the lives of fictional characters :), and i yearn for these things to come into fruition more and more in my own life.

so yea. read harry potter, all of them. maybe i am trying to read more into it than there is. or maybe there is more. see for yourself!

i will leave you with two things that have stuck with me in my head as i read harry's last story:

Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its ardor unyeilding as the grave.
It burns like a blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.

Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.
- Song of songs 8:6-7, the Bible.

Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
- page 266, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
- Matthew 6:21, the Bible.

not talking

2007-07-15T21:16:00.000+12:00

i am not talking about harry potter the newest movie so do not ask me about it. it makes me cranky.
oh, and if you like the books, DO NOT see the movie.

meanwhile, the countdown is on for the Deathly Hallows. i am starting to get pretty nervous about it. once it is over, there will be nothing more to hope for! - if it ends in a not good way, that is. and i am pretty sure that it will not end exactly how i want it to end - though i am still kind of hoping that it will end how i want it to end.

also, once it is over, we will no longer have the fun of speculating what is going to happen next.

apparently 2 people (main characters) are going to die in book 7.

this is who i reckon is going to die:
- voldemort
- bellatrix lestrange

other people who are allowed to die in book 7:
- lucius malfoy
- kreacher
- umbridge

yup, i'm staying positive...

there are four characters who are not, under any circumstances, allowed to die. these are:
- Remus Lupin
- Professor McGonagall
- Molly Weasley
- Arthur Weasley

because i said so.

understated melodrama (more refined than usual)

2007-06-25T16:04:00.000+12:00

i think like i have gained insight recently into how harry potter must feel. for two reasons.

one is my teeth. i have had to put up with aching painful teeth (with sudden stabs of intense pain) for a week and it is not nice. but harry has had to put up with his scar hurting for years, especially since voldemort came back. and when voldemort is close or feeling emotional, it hurts even more. now, i know it was pretty difficult to think when my teeth were hurting so much. but just imagine how hard it must be for harry when he gets that head-splitting pain in his scar! and to top it off, he almost always gets this pain when dealing with very dangerous and difficult situations. all i have had to deal with is people asking me questions and trying to get to sleep.

the second reason is this conference i am going to on wednesday. i have been having recurring dreams about what it is going to be like since january, and most of them are scary; involving people chasing me or trying to make me eat gross things or giving me too much attention. anyway, harry had recurring dreams in The Order of the Phoenix; and those dreams ended up leading to the tragic events at the ministry of magic. perhaps i too have been feeling a subconscious sense of foreboding about this camp. what is going to happen?

disclaimer: i like harry potter but you do not have to. i just get excited about it sometimes. like how boys get excited about rugby.

what's on top

2007-06-25T10:22:00.000+12:00

(because i haven't told you much about me in awhile.)

1. my teeth. they HURT. really really hurt. i am going to the dentist at 12, so hopefully they can fix at least something. i am going away for a week on wednesday, so i really want to get this sussed out now so that i am not in pain when i am away! prayers would be appreciated: for pain, for good dentists, and for financial stuff.

2. exam! i have one on wednesday morning. NOT fun when i am supposed to be studying and my teeth hurt! my exam is for music in the romantic era (which is roughly the 19th century). these are the main things that i plan to write about in my exam:
- Schubert, his song-cycle Wintereisse and probably analysing a couple of songs from it.
- Berlioz, his concerto/symphony Harold in Italy, his literary writings and influences, music in Berlioz's France, and the concerto / symphony after Beethoven.
- Schumann's Carnaval.
- Brahms' fourth symphony
- Rimsky-Korsakov's Sheherazade.
If you have done or are doing this course you may have noticed that i have failed to mention Wagner. that is because i don't like him and i intend to ignore him as much as possible. (never mind that he played an integral part in 19th century music.)

3. After my exam on wednesday i am heading up to el rancho for a tscf conference. it is about eternity. this is what tscf says about it:
God has placed eternity in the human heart. Eternity would remain the unfathomable mystery if God had not given the greatest of answers. Jesus speaks of eternity: he promises eternal life, offers an eternal perspective and speaks with everlasting authority.
Eternity transforms our experience in the now as we anticipate the glory of living in God's presence through endless ages. Living with hope changes the way we impact the world around us.
This year's national conference will focus on Eternity - exploring the hope and the power of eternity with Jesus in our lives here and now.
so that is what i'll be doing. i am a bit nervous about being around so many new people for a whole week. i'm feeling quite challenged to actually try talking to people, and to practice using my words.

i hope that my mouth works by then.

ode to zach braff

2007-06-18T20:35:00.000+12:00

song for tessa

2007-06-12T17:46:00.000+12:00

i want you between me and the feeling i get when i miss you
but everything here is telling me i should be fine
so why is it so above as below
and i'm missing you every time.
......

throw me a rope to hold me in place
show me a clock for counting my days down
cos everything's easier when you're beside me, come back and find me, cos i feel alone
.....

but i've got to be unconditionally unafraid of my days without you.

(excerpts from 'Throw me a rope' by KT Tunstall)

natalienatalienatalie

2007-06-12T17:04:00.000+12:00

Hello friends, my name is Natalie. I'm glad you came to play :)

I am looking for some things - can you help me find them?

1. a job.

2. my brain.

3. some coherency and/or articulateness.

4. some manners.

5. the ability to control myself, if only just a little.

Can you help? I would be awfully pleased if you could.

Love from, your friend, Natalie.

contrite

2007-06-12T15:32:00.000+12:00

i didn't know what contrite means. maybe you don't either. this is what it means:

contrite: adjective

1.	caused by or showing sincere remorse.

2.	filled with a sense of guilt and the desire for atonement; penitent: a contrite sinner.

Related forms:

con·trite·ly, adverb

con·trite·ness, noun

Synonyms:
rueful, remorseful, repentant.

[Middle English contrit, from Latin contrītus, past participle of conterere, to crush : com-, com- + terere, to grind.]

(or)

c.1300 (contrition), from L. contritus, lit. "worn out, ground to pieces," pp. of L. conterere "to grind," from com- "together" + terere "to rub."

Arabic:	نادِم
Czech:	kajícný
Danish:	brødebetynget; angerfuld
Dutch:	berouwvol
Estonian:	kahetsev
Finnish:	katuva
French:	contrit
German:	zerknirscht
Greek:	μετανιωμένος
Hungarian:	bűnbánó
Icelandic:	iðrandi
Indonesian:	kasihan
Italian:	contrito

Latvian:	nožēlas pilns; sagrauzts
Lithuanian:	apgailestaujantis, atgailaujantis
Norwegian:	angrende, sønderknust
Polish:	skruszony
Portuguese (Brazil):	contrito
Portuguese (Portugal):	contrito
Romanian:	chinuit de remuşcări
Russian:	кающийся
Slovak:	kajúci
Slovenian:	skesan
Spanish:	contrito
Swedish:	ångerfull, förkrossad
Turkish:	pişman

2007-06-09T13:55:00.000+12:00

..i need to discover how i need to behave!!

no really. i think i have become reclusive without even trying.
it is scary.

which means that when i am unleashed upon the world, i don't get it.

2007-06-03T10:52:00.000+12:00

but i don't WANT to write an essay.

princess=me

2007-05-21T16:41:00.000+12:00

ooh yea, that's right baby. this sunday is natalie's birthday.

now, obviously you want to celebrate this occasion by buying me stuff. i don't blame you.

this is want i want:
chickens
or
a goat

some of you may feel the need to buy me other stuff.
in that case, i need:
- a car (automatic)
- to repay my student loan
- my cat back
- a degree
- a job
- a nice boyfriend :D

but seeing as most of you are not rich, or God, i also neeeeeeed (i thought you looooved meeeeee):
- to learn to drive
- to borrow your ball dress
- hugs, and constant attention
- one of those ball things that attaches to your hand with elastic and when you throw it, it comes back to you and hits you in the face

thank you for your help. together, we can make natalie a better place.

your orders

2007-05-20T11:06:00.000+12:00

you must go to this post on huggies' blog if you have not seen it already.
pure genius.

look what i found

2007-05-19T15:14:00.000+12:00

before and after

wintersong

2007-05-04T22:18:00.001+12:00

21 and eleven twelfths today.

2007-04-27T11:38:00.000+12:00

i think i liked it better when i was 21 and nine twelfths. i still had a tessa then.

i love you, my darling little girl.

2007-03-25T11:51:00.000+12:00

"...Poor little old human beings-they're jerked into this world without having any idea where they came from or what it is they are supposed to do, or how long they have to do it in. Or where they are gonna wind up after that. But bless their hearts, most of them wake up every morning and keep on trying to make some sense out of it. Why, you can't help but love them, can you? I just wonder why more of them aren't as crazy as betsy bugs." - Aunt Elner, 1978

(from Welcome to the World, Baby Girl!, a wonderful novel by Fannie Flagg.)

*

2007-03-24T21:22:00.000+12:00

he loves you he said when he was last around

...there's something 'bout the nails in his hands....

that's all i need to keep cold and warm

*

rotund

2007-03-17T22:14:00.001+13:00

rotund, /roʊˈtʌnd/, adjective:
1. Round; circular; spherical.
2. Rounded in figure; plump; chubby.
3. Full and rich in sound; sonorous.

Leonardo squints up through one eye at Mathurine's impossibly rotund face peering down from a platter of turnips and beans.
-- R.M. Berry, Leonardo's Horse

. . .an expansive, down-to-earth man who is rotund in the way classic chefs used to be -- a walking advertisement for his own cooking.
-- Molly O'Neill, "Nuova England", New York Times, January 9, 1994

He had been small, rotund, and haughtily timid, his stomach protruding slightly in an upward jutting slope that brought into prominence the buttons of his waistcoat and trousers, marking the exact centre of his body with the obstetric line seen on fruits, -- the inevitable arc produced by heavy rounds of burgundy, schlagsahne, and beer.
-- Djuna Barnes, Nightwood

Rotund comes from Latin rotundus, "round" from rota, "a wheel."

turns out huggies actually doesn't know everything

2007-03-13T17:03:00.000+13:00

she told me so herself - who would have thought?

i am thinking of becoming a recluse. no more leaving the house. no more talking to people. no more meeting stupid boys. no more worrying about what people think. i can eat dandelions and sleep all day with my cat. at night i will venture out to the mailbox. all the neighbourhood children will fear me.

and so they should.

*

somebody got engaged.....

2007-03-02T15:30:00.000+13:00

TSCF STRIKES AGAIN!!!

woohoo!!! congratulations melissa and michael :)

giggle!

2007-03-01T21:51:00.000+13:00

ahh, flight of the concords, you guys are so craaazy.

cat!

enjoy!

me talking about things (mainly myself)

2007-02-15T17:01:00.000+13:00

i like my cat and i just lie
all those other cats make me cry

well. other cats are okay.

but my cat is the best!! she is so sweet and very pretty and super cuddly and she is my best friend.

i am at work but i am not working. soon me and sarah are going to go to ballet. then after that i get to go home to my cat.

tomorrow is my friend kate bear's last day at work. it is sad that she is leaving but i am glad that she is moving to where she wants to be. we will miss you kate bear!!

junior choir starts again next wednesday! it is exciting to be getting back into things. also next week is orientation week at vic, we have a lot of exciting things planned. and i get to see my CU friends again! also my music friends: this year i have just two papers left that i have to do, Music in the Renaissance Period and Music in the Romantic Period. and then i get a degree! i think vanessa is doing the romantic music paper with me which will be really nice.

there is a lot of exciting things happening this year.

Dear God
Be good to me,
The sea is so wide
And my boat is so small.

this weekend will be pretty busy as well, with hen parties, meetings, last minute plans for next week and music stuff at church on sunday night. and hopefully a lot of sleep..

Dear God,
When I don't know the right answer,
please help me ask the right question.

*

places to go on the internet

2007-02-06T22:43:00.000+13:00

good evening and happy Waitangi Day!

my day was fantastic: I went to my Grandad's 80th birthday party, then escaped to the beach with the Huggies where we went SWIMMING!! Then I drove home all the way from Lyall Bay, and in the process did my first ever three point turn and parallel park!!
Then Dave came to my house and we watched House (heh) and played guitar...speaking of Dave and guitar, Dave has recorded some of his songs and put them up on his myspace page! Most were recorded in just one take, by his computer in his room. impressive..of course. Check it out here

I have also been playing with youtube for the first time...ever... and have found some fun things.

first, for music types, or for anyone who hates pachelbel's canon like I do: pachelbel rant

Crazy blond guy in jacket is scared to share his faith - comedy ensues:
Eight reasons why I don't share my faith

and here is one for everyone: cats!

things that are good about today

2007-01-31T09:54:00.000+13:00

- i get to go straight home after work
- the lady at reception was really nice to me even though i lost my swipe card
- my boss paul is funny. he makes me giggle.
- huggies is nice too. she took me out smoothie shopping. i got one with strawberries and rasberries and apricots.
- we might get to have lunch with mister jakob!
- i don't have to write scary emails anymore. rachel is going to do it. rachel is super-awesome. so are michael and melissa.
- i sent spam to mark fd. he thinks i am a grand dictator. heh. heheheheh.

if women ruled the world...

2007-01-29T20:54:00.000+13:00

thank you to missy toto for this. brilliant :)

results

2007-01-15T22:58:00.000+13:00

(sorry about the delay. i was off on a visit to narnia that kept me busy for a few days...)

correct answers:
1) what do i want to be when i grow up?
dunno. maybe a parrot. (partial credit was given to answers that i have at some point wanted to be, and to answers that gave me ideas that i could add to my list of what to be when i grow up.)
2) why do women have small feet?
so that they can stand closer to the sink. (no other answers were acceptable.)
3) who sat down appalled until the evening sacrifice?
ezra. (ezra 9:3-4, the Bible). however, points were given for names of people who SHOULD be sitting down appalled until the evening sacrifice.
4) who said "that doesn't make sense to me...but then, you are very small"?
Treebeard. remember? from that lord of the rings thing?
5) what part did i play in my primary school production of Peter Pan?
"lily", the Maori version of Tiger Lily (apparently) - our school was PC and changed the Indians into 'People of the Land'. We did a nice poi dance for the pirates before they started attacking us.
6) what is the name of the band i was in during form 2? (bonus points if you can name any of our songs!)
Frozen Solid. We churned out such hits as 'Crazy', 'Eat your Peas', 'Little White Lie', and the unforgettable 'Regurgitated Blubber'. (many bonus points were awarded for band names that i liked.)
7) what will i be doing in ten years' time?
i don't know. i was hoping that you could tell me.
8) who is the best hobbit and why?
PIPPIN!!! duh!! he sings a song and is funny and cute and he speaks good and i would like to marry him i think. (many of you may know that i had a long time love of sam, however this sadly faded away after i read sean astin's autobiography...fans of sam, i do NOT recommend reading this book. it takes away the suspense of disbelief.)
9) who said "go on up, you baldhead!"
the youths, to Elisha. (2 Kings 2:23-25, the Bible). Much fun ensues - if you haven't already, go check this passage out :)
10) why do you think God gave you legs?
there is only one correct answer to this question:
WALK INTO MY KITCHEN AND COOK ME SOME EGGS, COS I SAID SOOOO.
11)what is the best jars of clay song ever?
my favourite is worlds apart followed very closely by my Heavenly. but i like hearing your opinions :) (bonus points to gareth and adam because you made me giggle).
12) the song lyric goes: "maybe something's coming right/the situation's black and white." song is called Me and Theng It is from the Lads' new EP, called the new adventures of the lads
the Lads wrote the song after they met their World Vision sponser child.

Scores:
Huggies - 235 782 points. i like that you incorporated the questions into your answers, it made it so much easier to read :) i also liked your use of the word whisk and your belief in my ability to become a cat lady. hmm, if it came down to cat lady or irish whisking, which would i choose...?

Lamsam/creepy john - 1 point. you can read my comments on huggies' blog.

David John - 200 points. i am very impressed that you remembered about tiger lily, and number 7 answer was funny because it is true! however, i expected more from you on no.3.. i will give you more points if you can play me the song from no.12 :)

Simon - impressive. all of your answers were either correct, or made me giggle. "you were in a band?" "someone who works in the kitchen." "one of the insignificant children." i give you 178.29 points. (and thank you for pointing out the other version of Me and Theng, i did not know about it!)

Gareth - none of your answers was right. not one. but you made me laugh. "understudy to third tree", eh? if only... you can have 5 points.

Natasha - 7 points. because i like you.

Adam - he he, he he he he.... you make me giggle also. have some points. 10 ought to do it.

Michelle - yup, those are your points :) and you can have 20 more because you have four incredibly gorgeous children :)

Missy Toto - ooh you know lots of things... even i had forgotten about mik and ailuj! 120 points!

Anonymous - zero points. i am a busy lady.

Ruth and Ace - how does a situation fly a kite? you can have some points if you explain this to me.

Kate Rigger - you are lovely and your new glasses are real cute. and i miss you! and your face! and - and - your TENT!! 50 points!